At the California Tantra Festival, I sat in a circle during a shadow work process and felt my chest tighten. My breath went shallow. Part of me wanted to slip into “teacher mode” to guide others through their discomfort rather than feel my own. But when I stayed with that fear of being seen, something cracked open. That was my edge. And that’s where the real work began.
What if the parts of yourself you hide, suppress, or deny aren’t your enemies… but your greatest teachers?
This week, we step into the tender and transformative realm of shadow work….not as a mental exercise, but as a sacred Tantric practice. The shadow isn’t just where pain lives; it’s where power lies dormant, waiting to be reclaimed.
The Shadow in Tantra
In classical Tantra, we do not seek to transcend the human experience—we seek to embody it fully. That includes the emotions we label as shameful, the thoughts we try to ignore, and the wounds we fear others will see. The Tantric path says: bring them into the light.
Much like Vedic Astrology’s focus on Rahu and Ketu….the North and South Nodes representing our karmic path forward and the patterns we’re releasing….Tantra sees these shadows not as flaws but as gateways to liberation. Rahu shows us where our soul is hungry to grow; Ketu reveals what we’re clinging to from the past. Together, they show us where our energy is trapped, and where we have the potential to awaken.
The shadows aren’t mistakes. They’re maps.
A Story from the Sacred Kings
One of my brothers in The Sacred Kings men’s circle recently told me he’d been running from his anger for years. When he finally faced it in our shadow work session, he discovered grief underneath…..grief for the ways he’d abandoned himself to keep the peace. His anger wasn’t his enemy. It was a messenger, protecting something tender and true.
Watching him reclaim that power reminded me of my own journey: the parts of myself I’ve feared, exiled, or judged are often the ones holding the most medicine.
Practices for Shadow Integration
Here are a few ways you can begin gently working with the shadow this week. Choose one that resonates, or simply pause and breathe with the intention to be more honest with yourself.
1. Mirror Gazing
Sit in front of a mirror and hold eye contact with yourself for 5–10 minutes. Notice what arises. Breathe through discomfort. Speak affirmations aloud, especially the ones you feel resistant to: “I am worthy.” “I am loved.” “I am enough.”
2. Journaling Prompts
- What am I most afraid people will find out about me?
- When do I become most reactive, and what’s underneath that reaction?
- If I could speak one truth without fear, what would it be?
3. Tantric Breath Practice
Use conscious connected breathing to stir up suppressed emotion. Breathe deep into your belly, with no pause between inhale and exhale. Allow sound, tears, or movement to emerge naturally. This is how the body releases what the mind has been holding.
4. Shadow Partner Practice (for those in relationship or community)
Ask someone you trust to reflect back to you how they see your patterns….without blame or judgment. Just mirrors. Listen without defense. This takes courage, but it’s one of the most powerful practices for growth.
Whether you engage fully with one of these practices or simply take three conscious breaths with the intention to see yourself more clearly, the doorway opens. Meet yourself where you are.
Shadow as Sacred
You are not broken. You are layered.
Each part you’ve hidden away was once trying to protect you. Shadow work is the act of lovingly meeting those parts and saying, “I see you. I’m ready to feel you. I won’t abandon you anymore.”
This week, instead of turning away from discomfort… lean in. The most powerful work is often done not in the light, but in the darkness—where the soil is rich, the roots grow deep, and the truth begins to take shape.
This Week’s Reflection
What shadow are you meeting this week? What’s it trying to teach you?
I’d love to hear what arises for you. Reply to this email, comment on the blog, or share your insights on social. Let’s normalize the courage it takes to face ourselves.
October Events & Offerings
Sacred Snuggle Lab – Saturday, Oct 4th
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Full Moon Ceremony – Monday, Oct 6th
A powerful space to release and illuminate what’s hidden
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New Moon Ceremony – Tuesday, Oct 21st
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Las Vegas November Events
Tantric Massage Masterclass, Temple Night, and more
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Resources & Deep Dives
Related Reading:
- The Fire Chose Me – On surrendering to transformation
- Why I Chose Tantra as a Refuge, Not an Appropriation – My path into this sacred work
Further Exploration:
- Carl Jung’s Aion – The classic text on shadow integration
- Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers – Accessible shadow work for beginners
With courage to face what’s hidden,
Shiva J
